Wedding Wednesdays: What You Should and Shouldn’t Register For

What To Register For: What You Do and Don't Need - JanessaMann.Com

For 9 months leading up to my wedding, I worked full-time as the main customer service person at the nearest Bed Bath & Beyond to me. No, it wasn’t a great job, related to my field, or particularly fulfilling, but I did learn a lot about how to set up your home.

People will tell you tons of things about what you need, pressure you into certain brands or gifts you’ll never use, and make you get ridiculously priced items. Depending what you ask for, you won’t get much of it. Registries are a pretty conventional wedding thing, so some people are trying to step away from it. However, it’s really helpful for guests to know where to go for things you will actually use-it saves headaches, and is less up-front than “please give us cash.”

Here is a standard checklist from TheKnot.com, which as some great references, but there are some pitfalls.

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1) Items you already have

If you’ve been living on your own or together for a while, you probably already have lots of these things. You have two routes: request replacements/upgrades of your current stuff, or stick with what you have and save gift requests for things you wouldn’t/couldn’t buy on your own.

For instance, my brother and sister-in-law had a terrible toaster that burned the toast all the time since it was like 20 years old. They registered for a new one. However, their microwave was fine. Why bother asking for another one?

2) Things you don’t want

Sometimes your parents, in-laws, or someone else will try to pressure you into requesting gifts that you don’t foresee yourself using. Stay strong. If it’s a gift they really want to give you, compromise is fine. If it’s something they think you need, but wont’ get you, why do they want you to get it? It’s just a waste of someone else’s money.

Nic and I did our registry at my store, and the whole time my managers were pressuring me into registering for china. They figured I would regret not asking for it, and that the IKEA set we wanted would not cut it. To get them off our back, we put it on the registry. Later that night I logged in and deleted it all. I have half of the Royal Dalton Old Country Rose set, and Nic doesn’t like it. Why would I bother getting more or another set? My plan for the long run is to mix in nicer pieces with the IKEA ones, which fits our current lifestyle.

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3) Things you don’t need

I will admit that a KitchenAid standmixer was the first thing on my list, and I was super pumped when I found out that my Dad’s family bought ours for us! No, they’re not necessary. Have I loved it completely? Yup. But you don’t need one.

If you’ve never  made juice in a Magic Bullet, you don’t need a juicer. Neither of you bake? You don’t need very much baking stuff.

As greedy as it sounds, the registry should be things that you really want. Don’t fill up a registry of things people are buying for you with things you don’t actually want. Some guests might remember what they got you, and when they visit, will be happy to see you’re using the item on a regular basis.

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4) Consider different routes

Nic and I needed towels, sheets, some cooking stuff, so we registered at Bed Bath & Beyond. However, we also registered on ehoneymoonregistry.com and MyRegistry.com.

Honeymoon registries are super cool: if you’re planning a honeymoon, you can get some of your activities paid for! Our camping in Cape Breton was covered, we got money for dinners and ice cream breaks, and whale watching. Writing those thank you cards were so much fun, because we had such a great time doing it all. Honeymoon registries are even more helpful for couples who already have all their home stuff, and don’t want to just get cash.

We used MyRegistry because we wanted a universal registry where we could put our camping supplies from MEC, various items from IKEA, and our Nikon DSLR fund. If you don’t have a specific store you want many things from, this is super helpful, and makes sure gifts aren’t doubled. Are you super into rock-climbing and want some more gear for the two of you? That’s your time, and guests love to give gifts they know you’ll really enjoy. Like to go to art galleries? Request year memberships to places on your universal registry. The sky is the limit.

5) Gift budgets

If you only have gifts above $100, you’d better hope all your guests are rich. For the rest of us normal people, you need to have a variety of budgets so that no one is uncomfortable.

Once I knew some ladies from my church were throwing me a bridal shower, I added some cheaper baking supplies that were $5-20 so people could choose whatever they were comfortable spending. For most of my friends, we all spent an average of $50 per person, so we had a bunch of gifts that were around that range. Relatives who could spend more chose the pricier items (standmixer, towel sets, sheet sets).

Don’t be like many of my friends who requested super expensive dishes, got maybe 2 dinner plates, one soup bowl, and no cutlery. If you request only expensive things, your guests won’t be able to buy them for you unless they all go in together. And you’ll be stuck eating on your old dishes. Giving wedding gifts should be a fun process for the guests-it’s always exciting (for me at least) to look at what they’re asking for, and see if I can top up the gift with something special (gift receipt included, of course).

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Resources:

It comes down to being considerate of your guests’ budgets, what will help you and your partner set up your home together, and what the two of you find important in your lives. Make sure to write in a spreadsheet what gifts you got from whom so you can write a thank you card or email-one of the wedding traditions that I hold firm to!

DIY Wedding Flowers - JanessaMann.com

Wedding Wednesday:How to DIY Your Wedding Flowers

DIY Wedding Flowers

If you’ve read any of my other wedding posts,(see here) you know that since Nic was in grad school and I was saving up to pay off my debts/get ready for grad school, we had to cut costs wherever we could. One was was to do our own flowers. This is not for the faint of heart. If you’ve never arranged flowers before, you probably should skip this unless you know someone who has. I was fortunate that Moira, the mother of one of my bridesmaids, had done the flowers for another wedding Ally had been in, so she was able to direct us on how to make the centrepieces, bouquets, boutonnieres, and aisle pieces. In all, we spent about $300 on the flowers, containers, and supplies–way cheaper than typical wedding flowers!

View More: http://photos.pass.us/janessa-nicwedding
My bouquet

If you think you want to go this route, there are a few steps:

  1. Start a physical or Pinterest board of what floral styles you like
    1. (See mine, here)
  2. Make sure you have friends and family who are willing and able to help with the flowers- we worked on them for 5 or 6 hours on the Friday before, and the day-of people had to make sure there were no dead blooms.
  3. Research places to buy flowers in bulk
    1. Some cities have flower markets, but I wasn’t willing to risk not getting flowers I loved
    2. We went with BunchesDirect.ca, who sells bulk orders of flowers online, and then we picked them up at their dealer in Ottawa
    3. Stores like Costco also sell them
  4. Once you know what styles you like, check to make sure you can get your preffered flowers in your wedding season.
    1. My favourite flowers are peonies, so I had this ridiculous dream of having white peonies at the wedding. I knew it’d be tricky for a June 20 wedding, but I held out hope. Moira surprised me with 3 beautiful blooms for my bouquet, and it was one of the best gifts I could have received! However, I didn’t go and order beautiful flowers like anemones, which would have fit the theme, but are in season in October, and therefore much more expensive.
    2. Hope but don’t obsess!
    3. Be willing to give up something you want for something else interesting: I wanted stocks, but BunchesDirect was pricing them too high, so I went with Irish Bells instead, and they ended up being really cool and unique.
DIY Wedding Flowers - JanessaMann.com
Bridal bouquets – it was a lot of fun for each of us to make them unique. Each bouquet worked together because of the colour theme (white and green) but I had each woman pick wahtever they wanted.

List out what elements you need, then edit it to make sure it fits your budget:

  • Bridal bouquet
  • Bridesmaids bouquets
  • Boutonnieres
  • Corsages
  • Headpieces
  • Centrepieces
  • Altar bouquets
  • Aisle runners
  • Wreaths
  • Garlands
DIY Wedding Flowers - JanessaMann.com
Nic’s boutonniere – one of my bridesmaids saw what I was putting in my bouquet, and made Nic’s have some of my elements!

Supplies:

  • Flowers
  • Floral wire
  • Floral tape
  • Scissors and wire cutters
  • Vases, bowls, whatever else to put the arrangements in
  • Tubs to put the flowers in
    • When we first got the flowers, they were in boxes and very flat. We let them soak in the water for a while, and they opened up
  • Fridge to keep them fresh in

How to have a floral party:

  • Willing participants
  • Supplies
  • Pictures of your ideas
  • Good instructions on floral care and assembly
  • Lots of time
  • Don’t rush it, have fun!

Two final tips: don’t make your centrepieces super tall, people want to have conversations. Also, stay away from super smelly flowers, or some people might get terrible allergies and sneeze all through your vows!

Some Resources:

Let me know how it goes!

Wedding Dress Shopping!!! – Wedding Planning Episode 3

I have been so excited to actually go gown shopping, because since I was little I have been sketching ideas of what my dress would look like. When I was a pre-teen it was more of a ballgown, with a corset back. A decade later, my tastes are more relaxed. (I would love to wear a huge tulle princess gown, but I know that it’s too out of character, so I’d regret it later.)
Originally I had been looking on Etsy for dresses, because they’re often a lot cheaper. Unfortunately, every time I fell in love with a dress (and it was usually around $100 + shipping) the sketchy Chinese Etsy store would disappear, and so would the listing. I realized I was going to have to shop in a real store so I knew that gown wouldn’t go away.
I also had a smaller budget than many brides, so I looked at designers that sold long bridesmaids gowns in ivory. I knew I wanted chiffon, a-line to highlight my waist, and some sort of sweetheart neckline. I found a few Jim Hjelm dresses I wanted to try, and found out that the only Ottawa store that carried them was White Satin Bridal in Bell’s Corners. I made an appointment.
For my entourage, I took my Mom, and my best friend from childhood and maid of honour, Kelsey. I knew I could trust them to be honest but gentle about their opinions on how the gowns looked on me. I also knew that Mom would not let me spend or try on something out of my budget and try to justify it (especially since my gorgeous Badgley Mischka shoes were a leeeetle more than I had planned on paying for-but they’re stunning, and I’ll wear them for years).

Looking through the bridesmaids racks
I posed with some bridal gowns so it would look like I was actually wedding dress shopping, even though the gown I ended up buying was a sample in blue. It was a little hard to envision it that way, but the Ivy & Aster gown I bought is also a bridal gown, so I could at least see it, with a slightly different fabric.
Kelsey and I, happy after I “Said Yes”

I was a little surprised that I didn’t cry when we decided on the Ivy & Aster bridesmaid gown, but I think that might be because it was blue, and not ivory. I’m sure once I get it in the right colour and it is sized to me, it will be more emotional.


Wedding Dress Shopping Advice:
  • Make an inspiration board, either online on Pinterest, or in a binder. You’ll see which characteristics you like
    • Look in your closet for what necklines, waist details, fabrics, etc. you are drawn to, and are most comfortable in.
  • Make a budget, and remember that taxes on expensive things are really big, and you will also have some alterations. (With my 4″ heels, the length won’t be a problem, but I’ll probably need my bust done, and they said that would be about $40, but it could be up to $100 for some brides)
  • Choose an “entourage” you can trust. If my other two bridesmaids were in town, I probably would have taken them, but it felt very comfortable with Mom and Kelsey. They both understood my vision and could be more critical.
  • Stick to your guns- I didn’t have a problem with this, because Kelsey and Mom were right about which one looked best on me, but too often on wedding shows the bride crumbles under critiques. The dress is yours, and you’re the one who has to live with the pictures. (I’m glad I’m not an 80s bride with a bustle and bow on my butt.)
  • Relax and enjoy the experience.

My first red cup of the season!

Afterward, we went to Starbucks to talk about the experience and some other things. When we got out of the cars, Kelsey ran up and said that it had hit her then that we had just bought my dress, and I agreed. I hadn’t gone into the appointment expecting to buy a dress, so it was nice that I found something flattering and flowing that I could see myself walking down the aisle in. It was also cool to have Mom and Kelsey hang out like that, because they are two of my favourite women,
226 days until I get married to Nic!!!!